What My NYU Research Taught Me About Why Couples Overspend on Weddings
And what to do about it
Christian & Sahitya’s mandap. Designed by MVW Events, fabricated by Willow & Magnolia Floral Design, and captured by Aja Hitomi Photography.
I'll be honest with you: I didn't start my Master's in Event Management at NYU planning to write about money. But the more time I spent in this industry — watching couples agonize over decisions, extend budgets they'd sworn were final, add vendor after vendor because they'd seen it somewhere — the more I realized that the real story of wedding planning isn't about flowers or venues. It's about pressure.
So I thought - what a perfect opportunity to do the research first-hand and get a feel for the impact that social pressure really has on couples.
For my NYU capstone, I surveyed 185 engaged or recently married couples across the US about the relationship between social pressure and financial decision-making during the wedding planning process. What I found was eye-opening and honestly, it changed how I do my job.
Curious? Take a look at what the data actually says…
The #1 driver of wedding overspending isn't Instagram. It's you.
When I asked couples to rank what most influenced their financial decisions, the answer wasn't TikTok and it wasn't their familial pressure, or a vendor they saw on Instagram.
It was personal desire for validation and recognition — ranked first by 42% of respondents.
This was the most surprising finding in my entire study. We talk so much about external pressure — social media, family expectations, keeping up with the Joneses — but at the root of so many wedding spending decisions is something deeply internal: the desire to feel seen, celebrated, and validated on one of the biggest days of your life. Whether it’s being the envy of your community, getting your wedding published, or just having a day that’s memorable to more than just your immediate family, the desire for validation is deeply influential.
That’s by no means a character flaw, but knowing it's there is the first step to making financial decisions you'll actually feel good about after the honeymoon.
Instagram is doing more work on your budget than you think.
That said, the external pressure is real too. In my research, 56% of respondents got at least 3 ideas or plans for their wedding from Instagram alone, compared to 39% from TikTok. And 24% got 5 or more ideas from Instagram.
More striking: 87% of respondents had at least considered making a purchase based on seeing a friend, influencer, or stranger have something. Only 13% said they'd never been influenced at all.
And it cost people real money. 66% of respondents spent at least an additional $100 on their wedding due to social media influence — and 22% spent over $1,500 extra.
The wedding industry has always understood this. Research shows that social media has enabled vendors to charge more for wedding-related goods regardless of whether there is a quality difference because the pressure to have what you've seen online lowers couples' price sensitivity. You're not imagining it, the pressure is real, it's documented, and it's designed.
The comparison trap hits every income level.
One of the most important things my research found: social pressure around weddings is not a wealth problem. It affects couples across every income bracket.
Regardless of whether respondents earned $30,000 a year or over $150,000, they felt the pull toward extravagance they'd seen online. The weddings being broadcast on Instagram are aspirational by design. And aspiration, by definition, always feels just out of reach.
This insight matters because I work with couples with diverse budgets who all feel the impact and worry that without XYZ their wedding isn’t going to be “enough.” And what I want them to know is: the feeling that your wedding isn't "enough" is not a reflection of your budget. It's a reflection of an industry that profits from that feeling.
Your friends are your biggest influencers — not strangers on TikTok.
Another finding that surprised me is: when I asked couples to rank their biggest sources of wedding inspiration, friends and peers via social media or personal conversation ranked #1. Wedding publications ranked dead last — with 47% placing them at the bottom of the list. As someone who is always in tune with what’s being published in Brides, Loverly, The Anti-Bride, Vogue Weddings, Munaluchi, and Over the Moon, this surprised me.
What this means: the weddings you see in your personal network — your college roommate's, your cousin's, your coworker's — are shaping your expectations more than any editorial spread or influencer Reel. And unlike celebrities or strangers, your friends' weddings feel attainable. Which makes the comparison sting more.
This is especially true for multicultural couples. If everyone in your community has had a similar wedding — the same traditions, the same format, maybe even the same venue — the pressure to match or exceed that standard is deeply felt. I see this constantly with the Indian fusion and multicultural celebrations I plan. The stakes feel higher because the community is closer and parental and cultural expectations are also in the mix - and they’re strong.
So what do you actually do with all of this?
Here's what I tell my clients — and what my research backs up:
Name the external pressure before it names you. When you find yourself adding something to your vision, pause and ask: does this actually feel like us, or did I see it somewhere and convince myself it did? There's nothing wrong with being inspired by what you've seen — but there's a difference between inspiration and imitation. One adds to your story. The other replaces it. Getting clear on which one you're chasing will save you thousands of dollars and a lot of post-wedding regret, and will allow you to ensure you’re spending with intention.
Your validation should come from your relationship, not your reception. The desire to feel celebrated on your wedding day is completely legitimate — it's one of the most human things about this whole process. But before you say yes to the next upgrade, ask yourself: will this actually make me feel more loved, more seen, more like myself on this day? Or am I hoping it will? A good planner should be helping you talk through the impact you want to have — the feeling you want in the room, the moments you want your guests to carry home — and then honestly assessing whether a given upgrade actually delivers that. The most memorable weddings I've planned weren't the most expensive ones. They were the ones where the couple was most clearly, unapologetically themselves.
Remember: we're focused on YOUR wedding. From my very first conversation with a couple, this is my north star. I'm always open to incorporating trends or design elements that genuinely resonated with them — if something they saw at another wedding stopped them in their tracks, I want to hear about it. But there's a difference between being inspired by something and trying to recreate it. I will never recreate someone else's wedding design. What I will do is understand what it was about that moment — the feeling, the detail, the atmosphere — and translate that through the lens of who you actually are as a couple. The result is a wedding that's familiar enough to be beautiful and specific enough to be unmistakably, unforgettably yours.
Build a budget around your values, not your feed. After eleven years in events, I've seen what actually makes a wedding memorable — and it's almost never the thing a couple added at the last minute because they saw it on Instagram. It's the intentional choices. The color palette we landed on after three conversations about how you want your guests to feel when they walk in. The edible favors we chose because we both know nobody's taking home a kitschy keychain. The design details that are uniquely woven into your story — the ones that make your grandmother tear up because she recognizes something, and make your college friends say that is so them. Those moments don't come from a mood board. They come from actually knowing you.
Work with someone who asks the right questions. A good wedding planner isn't just a logistics person or a vendor manager. They're a creative partner, an advocate, and sometimes a translator — between you and your families, between your vision and your budget, between what you want and how to communicate it to the people you love.
I ask a lot of questions before I ever talk about centerpieces. What matters most to your families? Where are the pressure points? What would make you feel like yourselves on this day? And then I take those answers into every vendor meeting, every family conversation, every budget negotiation so you don't have to fight those battles alone.
And at the end of the day, my job isn't to give you the wedding you've been saving on Instagram. It's to give you the wedding that exceeds your expectations and captures your love story better than you could have ever imagined.
The research I did at NYU confirmed what I already suspected from years of working with couples: the pressure is real, it's pervasive, and it affects everyone. But it doesn't have to be the sole driver of your decisions. Your wedding should feel like you — fully, unapologetically, beautifully you. Not like a recreation of something you saw on someone else's grid.
And that's what I'm here for.
Morgan Vinson-Watson is the founder and creative director of MVW Events, a luxury wedding planning and design studio specializing in multicultural celebrations, multi-day events, and destination weddings. Her NYU Master's thesis on social pressure and financial decision-making in wedding planning informs every client conversation she has. Inquire at mvwevents.co.
